


Nightmares and Memories

by asherranceoftheheart



Series: Jacksepticeye Egos Drabbles [38]
Category: Jacksepticeye Universe, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Platonic Love, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23654494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asherranceoftheheart/pseuds/asherranceoftheheart
Summary: A Monster dreaming of what has beens and what could have beens.
Relationships: Antisepticeye & Chase Brody, Sean McLoughlin & Sean McLoughlin
Series: Jacksepticeye Egos Drabbles [38]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1210824
Kudos: 33





	Nightmares and Memories

_Screams…_

_A familiar voice that was previously warm with love now desperate and filled with so much fear as it begged **Him** for mercy…_

_Dull, empty blue eyes bore into his soul..._

The green strings formed a painful web around him while his brother's bodies hung lifelessly behind Him, held up by the strings digging into the flesh of the limbs which stained the green red with their blood. Standing in front of him, His acid green eyes spat hatred and disgust towards his pathetically kneeling figure.

“T͜hi͟s̨ ̢is ho͏w ͢i̧t wi̡ll̶ ̕al̢way҉s e͞n̡d̛,” blood stained hands snapped out to grab the front of his shirt and pulled him up to stare at that sneering, monstrous face. “T̨hi̵s ̛is͝ ̕w̶h͟a̸t͠ ͜we were a̴lw͠a͜ys m͡e̢an̷t̨ to b̡e.̢”

**A DISGUSTING, HEARTLESS MONSTER WHO COULD NEVER AND WOULD NEVER LEARN TO LOVE.**

**_...nti…_ **

His clone… His **_mirrored_** self stood before himself, daring him with those soulless, hateful eyes to deny the truth of their being.

**_… An… ti…_ **

His mirror grabbed his hand and made him wrap his own fingers around the black handle of the clean knife.

It felt warm. As if he had never stopped using it in the first place.

**_Anti… ke up…!_ **

The monster guided his prone hand up and poised the knife’s sharp edge over the sealed scar on his neck.

Steel bit into the skin. Something warm began to stream down his cold skin.

He smiled, a smile mirroring the Monster’s own smile and began to pull the knife to the side, slowly reopening the scar.

**NOW͏ S̛A҉Y GOOD͟BY҉—**

**_ANTI WAKE THE FUCK UP!_ **

His entire body glitched as he snapped up into a sitting position, staring into a pair of baby blue eyes sightlessly. His mouth was open with a silent scream cut off in his throat and his body heaved with the force with which he was panting. His heart was pumping blood so hard that for a second he was worried that it might just burst out of his chest.

“... Chase,” he croaked out, reaching out to touch his baby brother’s warm face.

Chase was immediately by his side, practically vibrating out of concern for his normally nonplussed older brother. He hugged Anti tightly, pressing the older ego’s face into his shoulders as he rubbed the back of his shivering brother. He cooed words of comfort and love into Anti’s ears.

Anti clung to Chase like he was his lifeline, his anchor to this timeline, and he shattered to pieces.

They ended up laying on their sides, facing each other like twins sharing secrets in the middle of the night. Green and blue, exchanging wordless conversation with each other. During nights like these, false platitudes are useless.

Chase leaned over and pressed his forehead against his brother’s and closed his eyes with a slight smile. Anti watched that face, that face full of heart and life and hated himself a bit more for the twisted spark in his heart that wanted to snuff that fire out and take joy in it.

“I forgive you, you know that right?” Chase whispered.

He knows.

“You shouldn’t,” Anti murmured, closing his eyes and relaxed into his brother’s gentle presence. “You shouldn’t have forgiven me, you soft-hearted idiot.”

His baby brother chuckled at the resigned tone in his voice. He was probably the only person in the universe to have ever heard such a tone from his stubborn brother.

“But I did it anyway because I love you,” Chase answered with a tender tone. Anti’s entire body shuddered at those three words, still unused to having it be said towards him with no strings attached.

“... As I said, a soft-hearted dumbass,” Anti bit back, but there was no sharpness nor heat behind his words. It was soft, almost tinged with fondness.

When Anti drifted off to sleep once more, this time he did not dream of the forgotten past nor the uncertain future. This time he dreamt of brothers being brothers, a house full of love and laughter, and blue eyes filled with life.

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up at asherranceoftheheart.tumblr.com if you want to suggest something or ask me for more!


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